In the hubbub of London’s Camden Town, Oliver Chan thinks a lot about loneliness.
“Loneliness is an important topic for me because my autism can make it harder for me to form connections with other people,” he wrote for Camden Disabled Voices.
“I tend to talk about a specific range of subjects and bring up the same things repeatedly and this can make people not want to interact with me.”
He also struggles with joining in group conversations, with busier places bringing about even more anxiety and loneliness.
“Everyone is rushing around and it seems like no one will notice I’m there,” he continued.
While Chan’s experience with autism might amplify feelings of loneliness, he knows it’s something everyone experiences.
In fact, this became abundantly clear in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.
With standard meeting places like pubs and restaurants shut down during the pandemic, Chan stumbled upon an article about “happy to talk” benches, or “happy to chat benches,” as they’re called by Allison Owen-Jones, who started the phenomenon.
The premise is simple: Advertise a park bench with the goal of getting strangers to sit together and talk. Simple as that.
“With all those lonely people out there,” Chan said, “I felt it was important to do something about it … I decided I would try to promote them in Camden.”
In 2022, Chan — who is also an artist — reached out to Camden Council’s park managers to bring the benches to his community.
There are now “happy to talk” benches in four locations in his English town, hopefully with more to follow.
A Camden Council spokesperson told Ham & High: “Connecting with others in the community is an important way to tackle loneliness and boost wellbeing.
“This initiative encourages people to socialize in our open spaces, and we hope to work with community groups to organize events around these bench locations where more people are encouraged to join and connect.”
Chan and his councilmember counterparts invite anyone to take a seat.
The benches have signs on them that read: “Say hi if you’re passing by or sitting down,” and Chan’s mother, Caroline, even crocheted a colorful sign for one of the benches to invite more participants in.
She thinks the benches could be taken up another level to accommodate more seats, adding to Ham & High that she’d be willing to raise funds to make the project grow.
“I just think we can all work together in collaboration,” Caroline said.
Working together is something the Chans do well. The family also owns a cafe — Oliver’s Village Cafe — where Chan hosts “Chatty Cafe” sessions and bakes cakes to invite strangers to talk in an indoor environment.
While Chan writes that the “Chatty Cafe” scheme has been popular with “the over 60s,” he hopes more of his peers are eager to join in soon, too.
“I find it challenging to make connections with other people,” he wrote in another article for Camden Disabled Voices. “It doesn’t help that in England the culture is insular and people are very reserved. It takes a bit of courage here for strangers to approach each other and become friends.”
For those who are willing to be brave, Chan will meet them when they’re ready.
“If someone was having a bad day, or can’t find a friend to talk to,” he said of his bench project, “it’s there for people.”
Header image courtesy of Caroline Chan
